In  extreme cases I have seen people who have taken care of and given for so long that they become clinically depressed, despondent, unable to proceed with life. 

 

BUT…THE GOOD NEWS IS THIS CAN ALL BE AVOIDED!  You can thrive through caring.  Being loving, caring and supportive people are wonderful qualities, and wonderful gifts we bring to the people we love and the God we serve.  The way to care and thrive at the same time simply requires some time and attention to yourself FIRST.  Here are some suggestions:

 

1.  GET PLENTY OF REST:  Sleep experts say that we should get between 6.5 -9 hours of sleep a night.  Our ability to concentrate and remember things is greatly impacted by our sleep.  In fact, the things we learn throughout the day are actually encoded into our brain while we sleep.

2.  EAT RIGHT:  This comes back to the old saying “garbage in – garbage out”.  We need the right kind of fuel to keep functioning at a high level of performance.  However, I must admit, I’ve never met an Oreo that let me down.  So, this means, once in a while treat yourself , too.

3.  EXERCISE:  I know this is the “E” word…not that, don’t say it, anything but exercise!  The fact remains that exercise is one of the best stress relievers, body/mind/spirit cleansers out there.

4.  PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR SPIRITUAL NEEDS:  Let’s never forget that we have a great God, and He calls on us to “come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden”.  Like the hymn says “earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal”.  Spend time in prayer – give your cares and concerns to God.  Spend time in devotions, getting perspective, and focusing Heavenward not downward.

5.  SET LIMITS, SET LIMITS, SET LIMITS:  It is not rude, selfish, unkind, dismissive, or mean to say “no”.  It is healthy.  We can’t do everything. We can’t do everything that is asked of us.  It is also okay to not want to do everything or some things.  We need to say no when we want to say no and yes when we want to say yes, this way our behavior will be congruent with our feelings, we will be living authentically, and we will feel better.  If we take one too many things that we don’t want to do out of guilt, obligation or fear of rejection, we will become resentful and tired.

6.  HAVE FUN:  This is not negotiable.  Too often when we are overwhelmed, tired, spread thin, setting time aside for fun pursuits is one of the first things to go.  This should be one of the last things to go.  This is what will help us to keep going.  It should be scheduled, planned, looked forward to and relished.

7.  DON’T TAKE ON OTHERS’ PROBLEMS:  Some people are willing to let you take on their burdens and concerns so they don’t have to carry them alone.  But, I have a rule – if you didn’t create the problem, you can’t solve the problem, leave it in the hands it belongs in and let it go.

8.  GET AWAY:  This includes a long drive in the country or a week’s vacation.  We need a break, a change of scenery.  One of my favorite quotes from C.S. Lewis is “reality looked at steadily is unbearable”.  Sometimes we need to put a bookmark in life, and take a break.